AA's embarrasing moment

Nervousness and high anxiety in public and social spaces has always plagued me. This week the pair reared their ugly heads once again whilst I was in the middle of presenting a group project. Speeches and/or presentations have always been huge fears of mine. The beady-eyes of your “peers” can make you want to run to the corner and cower. That is the exact feeling that rushed over me this week. I’ve been nervous in front of people but this was different feeling. This was almost a paralyzing feeling. It was a feeling of “I can’t.” I can’t do this or stand here. 

At one point I heard the papers I was holding rattle and realized they were rattling because I was shaking. That’s never happened to me before. The realization of this physical occurrence just made me feel more nervousness and fear. I immediately thought “this is the worst thing ever” but then realized that I had team members counting on me and I somehow made it through. Once I scampered back to the side with my team I immediately felt regret. I know I can do better but my team doesn’t. These are people who I’d never met, before this class, and perhaps will never meet again and their lasting impression of me is my nervous shaking.